I am a Stay at Home Mom. I love Chai Lattes, anything chocolate, and all of the Real Housewives. I hate cleaning bathrooms.
I've been with my husband since 2000, married since 2005, and together we have two little girls. Little Bear was born in 2009 and Crazy Plates in 2010.
This is my blog. A place where I share all the fun and frustrating things about being a Stay at Home Mom.
I hope you can enjoy, relate, and have a little laugh.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Last Friday my husband and I went to a Halloween party. He was Waldo and I was a detective - looking for Waldo. Not bad, eh? The girls are both princesses for Halloween. Obviously.
Anyway. This is a Halloween tip I came up with last year, but it's a good one, so I thought I'd share it again.
When the girls go to bed on Halloween night, I sort through their Halloween candy. I take out all of the Coffee Crisps and put them in a bowl, just for me. You know, because coffee isn't good for little ones. Then I take out all the Skittles and put it in my bowl. Because they're a choking hazard. I take the chips out and put them in my bowl as well, because chips are addictive and I'm trying to nip that type of behaviour in the bud. I take out all the Kit Kats and put them in my bowl because they're my husband's favourite. Finally, I take out all the suckers and put them in my bowl because the girls always manage to get them stuck in their hair. That leaves them with the Rockets. I think that's some darn good parenting, don't you?
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
1) What do you do all day? This question is never asked with genuine interest. The asker is never waiting with bated breath for tales of laundry and grocery shopping and tips for getting crushed Cheerios out of the carpet. No, this question is always based in a preconceived idea of our days being filled with daytime talk shows and manicures.
2) It must be nice to stay at home all day. First of all, I don't stay at home all day. I do have a playroom in my basement, but I don't have a grocery store or a dry cleaners, and my kids skating and ballet lessons are not held in my kitchen. Secondly, asking such a condescending question isn't going to make you any new friends.
3) If I stayed home all day, I'd be so bored. Then you're a boring person. Get a hobby. Clean out a closet. Spend some time with your kids.
4) I have to work all day, so I don't have time to get my nails done. Yes you do. We all make time for the things that are important to us. I get my nails done every once in a while because I'm a girl and that's what I like to do. You don't stop being a girl when you become a stay at home mom. You do become a girl who wears scrunchies and track pants to the grocery store, but you're a girl who wears scrunchies and track pants to the grocery store with a killer shellac manicure.
5) It's late, I better go. I have to work in the morning. That's too bad. I get to sleep in while my kids get their own breakfast, pack their own lunches, and walk themselves to school. Then my imaginary friends get to work cleaning my house.
6) It's so nice that your husband provides such a good life for you. I know, and I really don't deserve it, what with all the TV I watch while doing absolutely nothing else.
7) I need to work, to feel like I'm contributing and being productive. Yes, you're right. I wander around, unproductively, all day, just wishing I could contribute somehow.
8) Do you feel guilty shopping for yourself since you didn't earn the money? Maybe I should. Maybe I should also return the $40 purse I bought from Target, since I can't afford it with the zero dollars I make each week. Guess that also means when we go out for dinner, I should just stick with the free bread and water, since it fits nicely into my budget. I should also thank my husband for letting me live in the house he bought. Maybe I should start doing some chores around here, you know, earn my keep. Maybe I'll even be able to save up enough to buy back that Target purse. If it goes on sale...
I got a lot of Facebook comments regarding this post, suggesting that I was contributing to the working mom vs stay at home mom debate. This was never my intention. But, since they brought it up, I decided to write a blog post on the topic, called Working Moms vs Stay At Home Moms. I'd love for you to give it a read and tell me what you think.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
This past Sunday, my husband ran his first half marathon. I, being of sound mind, decided to forgo the months of training and drive to the finish line, to cheer him on. So bright and early Sunday morning, I loaded the girls in the car and, since this mom requires a chai latte for any drive longer than 11 minutes, we headed to your drive-thru. Once there, I ordered, amongst other things, an everything bagel with butter. I asked that the bagel be buttered, instead of a few butter packets being thrown into the bagel bag. That's when my friendly Starbucks barista informed me that she wasn't allowed to butter my bagel. What the what?
I drove up to the window, and as she handed me the bagel, my friendly Starbucks barista apologized and said it was company policy that they don't butter bagels. What was this non-bagel-buttering nonsense? I pulled into a parking spot, crawled into the back of the van, and as I knelt down to butter the bagel, I began to think. Does Mr. Starbucks know how dangerous it is to butter a bagel while driving? I'm pretty sure buttering a bagel while driving is right up there with texting while driving, on the list of things not to do while driving. And, does Mr. Starbucks understand the concept of the drive-thru window? By it's very design, you need to be in a car to use the drive-thru window, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise that I was driving at the time of ordering the buttered bagel. Also, drive-thru windows are supposed to save time. They are supposed to be efficient. But, kneeling down in the back of a van in a Starbucks parking lot is neither a time saver nor efficient. And, to add insult to injury (and I do mean injury...I knelt down on a piece of Lego), the butter in the packet was so cold and so hard that, despite our best efforts, Pink Baby and I couldn't get the butter to spread across the bagel.
And so, dear Starbucks, I suggest you call an emergency meeting and change this non-bagel-buttering policy immediately. It's ridiculous, and not indicative of the Starbucks I have come to know and love. Thank you.
Oh, and because I know you're wondering, and because I know he'd love for me to tell you, my husband completed his first half marathon in 1 hour and 50 minutes. Show off.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
If plated apps aren't your style, you can put out a few cups and a few saucers. In each cup you can have a different cracker, and each saucer a different cheese. Or fill one cup with carrots, one with cucumber slices, and one with dip. The possibilities are really endless.
Chances are you have 8 or 10 of Grandma's tea cups. If that is the case, you can put a little flower arrangement at each place setting. Or you could group a few on a pretty tray in the middle of your table as a centerpiece. Or you can put a couple on the counter or table where you'll be serving the food from. Adorbs! That's a word I just learned. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm just trying it out.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Monday, October 6, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
1) Wash Crazy Plates' bed. Sounds harmless, but let me elaborate. The girls took lotion, covered Crazy Plate's bed and dresser with it, then spread it around with baby wipes. They have also cleaned the bathroom with liquid soap and toilet paper. Not helpful.
2) Make a tower. While most kids would use building blocks or Lego to build a tower, mine use all the toiletry items in my bathroom cupboards. Awesome.
3) Play dress up. With my clothes, and my shoes. Sometimes they use the clothes in their laundry hamper. Either way, I'm left with piles of clothes and shoes all over the second floor of our house.
4) Decorate the furniture with stickers. Yes, technically speaking they are playing with their toys by using their stickers, but furniture decorating is not an approved usage for said stickers.
5) Re-arrange the DVDs. This one drives me nuts. I love organizing, but I don't love tidying up. Tidying up DVDs that have been perfectly organized is not a fun activity for me.
6) Write on my kitchen calendar. Yes, I still have a kitchen calendar. A little background on me. My phone is ancient. It is a phone, it has primitive texting abilities, and a camera that doesn't deserve to be called a camera. There are no apps or calendars on my phone so my kitchen calendar is my lifeline. Colouring in the boxes and drawing flowers over doctor's appointments is the equivalent of dropping a smart phone into the toilet.
7) Change their clothes 10 times a day. Literally. 10 times a day. I'm all for letting the girls expressing themselves through fashion, but again, this activity just leaves me with piles of clothes to sort through and put away.
8) Empty the Kleenex box. This is something cute that babies do. It's fun to watch the excitement on their faces as they pull out one Kleenex, only to find another one pop up right behind it. Now that my girls are 3 and 5, their Kleenex box fun involves using as many Kleenexes as they can to blow their noses, and, the best part? They stuff the used Kleenexes back into the Kleenex box. Gross.
9) Push the panic button on my car key fob. For as many times as they've done this, you'd think I'd have figured out how to turn the horn off, once the panic button has been pushed. Well, I haven't.
10) Wallpaper the kitchen. With post it notes.
And so, if you happen to be strolling the toy section of my local Good Will, you're welcome.
Oh, one more to add to the list. This is a picture of what Crazy Plates did for my birthday last year. She pulled a chair over to the counter, climbed up onto the counter, spread out all of my wooden spoons and spatulas, opened up the coffee puck storage drawer and took out some pucks, took the lid off of the olive oil, stuck the lid in the spout of the kettle, then took the chili oil and covered herself and the counter top with it. I found her leafing through some photos with her chili oil soaked hands. Sigh...