Why I Don't Discipline My Kids...

When Little Bear was twenty months old, I went to a parenting seminar held by Barbara Coloroso.  As a first time mom, I had already read all the parenting books, but a parenting seminar!  This sounded like something I had to attend.  I hung on Barbara's every word as she led me through strategies for everything from disciplining kids, to getting them to eat their veggies.  I left the seminar feeling empowered, motivated to be the best mom I could be!  I felt equipped with the tools to run my house as perfectly and effortlessly as Michelle Duggar. 

Now that I'm a mom of two, it's a different story.  Parenting strategies for disciplining kids may work on Super Nanny, but they don't work in my house.  So, I no longer discipline my kids, and here's why...

1) I'm tired.  That's it.  I'm just plain, old, tired.  I've tried everything I can think of to get the girls to eat their veggies, clean up the playroom, and be quiet in restaurants and nothing works.  All that effort and arguing and repeating myself over and over again has made me so tired that I've decided the best thing to do is conserve my energy.  If they want Goldfish for breakfast, so be it.  If they want to stand on their chair at a restaurant, have at it.  I need to save my energy for playing with knives and running through parking lots without looking for cars.  This is where my limited energy is best spent. 

2) One popular discipline tactic is to take away privileges.  But, as I have learned, this is more of a punishment for me than it is for the girls.  Taking away the TV means no quiet time for mommy.  Taking away their favourite toy means they rummage around the playroom with the force of a tornado looking for something else to play with, and coming up empty because no toy is ever good enough, leaving me with a giant mess to clean up since they don't clean up their toys which was the cause of the initial favourite toy removal in the first place.  On our way to a birthday party one day, the girls were out of control, not listening to a word I said to them.  So, I told them we were staying home and not attending the party.  Worst.  Mistake.  Ever.  I love birthday parties, as you know, because my girls are entertained, make a mess of a space that isn't mine, and eat a meal that I don't have to make.  Instead they stomped around the house, cried, made a huge mess, and refused to eat the dinner I made.  Staying home from the birthday party was definitely a punishment just for me.

3) Lessons, like plane tickets, are not transferable.  Exhibit A.  Crazy Plates used to try to climb our Grandfather clock, and no matter how many times I told her she was going to get hurt, she kept doing it.  Until the clock fell on her.  Yes, it actually fell on her.  She climbs up on the counter, and no matter how many time I tell her she's going to fall off, she still climbs up.  She's fallen off probably 5 times.  So far.  She was playing with patio stones at Home Depot, and no matter how many times I told her she was going to get hurt, she kept playing with them until she dropped one on her toe requiring 3 stitches.  Exhibit B.  The girls got a time out for dropping a bottle of baby oil over the staircase and splattering baby oil all over the first floor.  The girls got a time out for 'washing' Crazy Plates bed with sun screen.  Crazy Plates got a time out after climbing up on the counter and covering herself in olive oil, and still, no lesson was learned, which became clear, when, just last week, we were in Blue Mountain with some friends and they snuck into the bedroom to cover themselves with shampoo and liquid soap.

So, I give up.  They win.  I'm waving the white flag.  I hear the teenage years are easy, so at least I have that to look forward to.  Sigh...