I was chatting with a mom I met at the park the other day as we were watching our kids play in the sand. Her son was 18 months old and barely walking, something that obviously bothered her and caused her mommy anxiety to sky rocket. So, I shared a secret with her. Little Bear didn't walk on her own until the day before she turned 20 months. She was so excited to hear this. Not because she was happy that Little Bear was a late walker, but because it meant that there was nothing wrong with her little boy, and she didn't need to worry so much.
This encounter made me realize just how much pressure is put on us moms. The books and experts tell us at what age our babies should be rolling over, crawling, walking and talking, and if our babies don't meet these milestones in a timely manner, it's somehow our fault. But you know what, Little Bear didn't know at 19 months that she should have been walking. She was too busy eating Gold Fish and playing with her toys. She was happy, healthy, slept well and was loving life. And instead of patting myself on the back, I was worried that I wasn't pulling my weight as a mom.
So I decided to confess some more secrets, because I think if we're all a little more honest with each other, it should take some of the pressure off, right? There are so many expectations put on us moms to do it all, and do it all perfectly. I'm by no means a perfect mom, but I am doing my best. We're all just doing our best, and hopefully my confessions will hep you realize that too. Here goes...
1) In the winter months, I drop my kids off at school in my pajamas. I put jeans on, but under my winter coat I'm wearing a cupcake pajama top and no bra.
2) One time, a couple of years ago, Little Bear and I were out shopping and she pooped. A lot. I didn't have any diapers with me because refilling my diaper bag was something I could never get the hang of, so I scooped the poop out of her diaper...and put it back on.
3) Crazy plates doesn't wear pajamas to bed. She will wear the clothes she wore that day, she may wear her fancy party dress, last night, in fact, she wore a bathing suit. She's a stubborn little girl, and by bed time I have no fight left in me.
4) Little Bear is 5 years old, and I lay beside her every night until she falls asleep. I know Dr. Ferber would cringe, but she falls asleep so peacefully with me beside her, and watching her fall asleep is the cutest thing ever. Plus it gives me a chance to rest a bit before I go back downstairs and clean the kitchen. And sometimes, when I get downstairs, my husband has already cleaned the kitchen, so, I really see no harm in it.
5) Once in a while the girls have cereal for dinner. They're really picky eaters, and sometimes I just run out of ideas. And sometimes I'm just too tired to cook. And sometimes I just haven't had a chance to go to the grocery store.
6) After we get home from a birthday party, once the girls are in bed, I eat all the candy in their loot bags.
7) I skip pages when I read bedtime stories. A lot of pages. And on the pages I do read, I skip whole sentences.
8) The girls had skating all last season on Monday nights. It ended at 7:10pm. The arena is 7 minutes from our house. Every Monday, I'd take the long way home so the girls would fall asleep. Then I'd hit up the Starbucks drive thru. When we got home I'd transfer the girls to their beds and watch The Real Housewives and drink my chai latte.
So there you have it. Feel a bit better about your mothering? I hope so. Don't forget to share your confessions in the comments below.
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